haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Holy sore nipples Batman
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize