I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
