i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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