I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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