its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
