I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
