Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize