yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize