he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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