i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Is it because I queefed?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
