i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
