fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
You took a bar mat shot.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I will pee on everything he values.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
