just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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