So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
