His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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