think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
