Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
im holly from the hills drunk
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize