how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
