I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
