your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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