My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
