I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize