Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Can I color on your dick again?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
