so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
