I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize
