Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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