I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
