playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
