I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
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