put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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