he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
