He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
