It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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