I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
