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• (407): View more from Florida

  i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.

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• (707): View more from California

  She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka

  (816): View more from Missouri

  You're so demanding.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates

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• (716): View more from New York

  I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick

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• (207): View more from Maine

  I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.

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