It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
