mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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