i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize