she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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