he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
