I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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