Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
