2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
