so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
