Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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