So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
