I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
