If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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