you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
