He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
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