Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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