So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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