He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
