You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
