put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
