FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
