I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
she peed on how many people?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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