ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
