At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
