His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
