I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
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