I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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