Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
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