Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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