i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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