I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
