You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize