He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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