You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
