I wanna passion pit in your ass
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
