I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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