You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Randomize
